The Pyschology of Pregnancy
It’s official. I’m not leaving the house again until this baby is OUT.
Humph. (Arms crossed, pouting)
Do people REALLY not “get” how difficult it is for a pregnant woman to hear the words, “My God! You’re HUGE!” And no matter how well-adjusted and self-confident you are, those words sting just a little. Admit it. In this culture of “skinny-pop-star-size-0-is-beautiful”, no matter how much we reject the Barbie doll ideal, hearing how huge you are on a semi-regular basis would wear down the staunchest anti-Hollywood image fiend.
So, a few tips of what NOT to say to a pregnant woman in her last few weeks:
1. “Oh my God, You are HUGE!”
2. “Oh honey, you look so miserable.” (Inevitably you’re going to say this on a day when the woman feels good about herself, thinking she finally has that ‘glow’ everyone talks about.)
3. “How much longer?” Asked in the tone that one would use for a death-row inmate.
4. “Won’t they schedule an induction? Surely that baby weighs 10 pounds by the looks of you.”
5. “Your stomach will never be the same.”
Ummm. Yeah. Nice huh? I’ve heard all of these, which is interesting since I’ve barely shown with my last 4 pregnancies. This has been a real eye-opener for me. Words people. WORDS are powerful. Use them wisely.
October 6, 2008 at 9:14 am
the very first time i met my sister-in-law i was 7months pregnant with my first. she walks in the room, her eyes bug out and she practically screeches at me”you’re huge!” uhm, nice to meet you?
lol! i’m sure you’re beautiful, how about a belly pic so we can judge for ourselves?
October 6, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I always said I wanted to have an FAQ shirt or card, to avoid the truly annoying questions and those that I’d been asked (what felt like) a zillion times. I’ve also made it a point of telling new moms that THEY look great, when I get the chance (and if I don’t feel like I would totally be lying — usually they do, really).
I’m sure I would think you look great (even if you don’t feel great) and not at all huge and that the baby will arrive just when he or she should and be a nice healthy size. Hang in there!
October 11, 2008 at 9:36 pm
how about “Oh you will NEVER make it to *that* date” “oh you can see my cervix from there?” is a great comeback. do we have to educate the whole world?
December 3, 2008 at 4:48 pm
are you sure it’s not twins?
you and your husband know what’s causing that don’t you? – my response to that was “yes and we enjoy it VERY much, thank you. do you have any more personal questions you’d like to ask concerning my husband and i’s habits in the bedroom?” met with shocked silence and a red red face…
and by far the WORST comment made to me whilst pregnant was by an OB during a vag exam… “you have great legs.” i’d much rather be accused of being a whale by a stranger than complimented on my legs while they’re in stirrups and my holy of holies is exposed. jerk- suffice it to say i saw midwives from that point on.